4 January 2017 🌾

It’s 2017. Which means in 7 months it will have been 10 years since I moved to England.

How different I was then. How naiive. How hopeful. I was so confident of myself, of the path that I had chosen and so determinedly followed.

Now I am a fragment of my former self—my confidence shattered, optimism extinguished in the dark pits of depression.

But I am still here. I pulled through. I wake up each day, go to work, cultivate relationships. But life was not the same. It was uninspiring, lethargic, deadening.

Until yesterday, when I decided to move to Vietnam.

After two days in Hanoi and some encouragement from my good friend, I decided to take the reins and drive my life into a different direction. I have no idea if it is the right one, but it will be the first path I lay for myself in a long time.

Which I guess is enough.

Since then it’s as if I’m seeing the world through different eyes. The fire that burnt out is re-kindled. The spark of life reborn. My brain is buzzing with possibilities, busy making plans, imagining what life will be like.

In a year. That’s the deadline I’ve set for myself. I give myself a year to prepare, and then I’m packing my bags and heading to the airport.

I’m writing this post on 4 January 2017. But I won’t publish it until I’ve moved. So if you’re reading this, then I’ve made it. I’ve kept the promise to myself. I’ve taken a step into the unknown, inched closer to the life that I used to imagine for myself.

A life of excitement, adventures, discoveries…

A life I wish for me, for you, for us.

Much love,

Val

25 December 2020

I love Christmas. Always have, and probably always will.

Growing up in Thailand, Christmas was fused with New Years into one long, festive holiday season. Christmas/New Years equalled presents. Fairy lights in the garden that dad and I would painstakingly put up (and even more painstakingly remove). My school of 13 years, being Catholic, used to have Christmas celebrations. We also had friendly, but fierce annual competitions of which class can glue/staple/tape together the most elaborate Christmas board.

Then I went to study in the UK and Europe, where Christmas was always a magical time of year, and I just loved soaking up the atmosphere. Lights on Oxford Street. Christmas decor in malls. Christmas markets. Mulled wine, hot chocolate, presents around the tree. I loved it all.

So today being Christmas, it’s a special day for me. And I’ll take this special opportunity to reflect on my experience of 2020.

The Move

West Lake, Hanoi, December 2019.

2020 was supposed to be the year of the big move to Vietnam. Thanks to Covid, this has not happened. But preparations never ceased and I never wavered in the decision. Now finally the jigsaw pieces appear to be falling together and I’m set for a March 2021 move. Fingers crossed all goes well.

The Job

September 2020, Bangkok.

2020 was a life-defining year for me career-wise. I landed the job of a lifetime, and often I still can’t believe I’m working for Mark, an author whose work I truly admire, and now that I actually know him in real life (albeit only digitally for now), really a genuinely awesome person.

The Friends

Fancy staycation with my closest friend, December 2020.

2020 has been a year of deepening new friendships and reconnecting with old ones. It’s probably the year where I’ve had the most fulfilling social experiences. Funny that in a year where most of the world is locked down and socially distanced, I’ve had my most active year socially. I’m thankful the Covid situation was quickly under control here and I was able to have those many lunches, coffees, and dinners with friends.

The Family

The home office, much of 2020.

2020 was also a year of spending time with family, from Agoda going remote in March and much of the remainder of the year. I was living at home, eating mom’s cooking, working comfortably in my new home office set-up (pictured is my swanky new laptop stand which I’m very pleased about buying).

Val’s Bespoke English

2020 was also the year I launched Val’s Bespoke English, my premium tailored English tutoring service.

I’d been teaching privately for many years, but 2020 was the year I decided to formalise it and properly advertise.

And I’ve been pretty pleased with the results so far!

All in all, 2020 has been a pretty good year to me. A year of new experiences, new beginnings, and personal growth in various ways.

Here’s to 2021. May it be kind to all of us.

Love,

Val

22 March 2020

Oh how the world has changed since I last wrote you all.

It’s been less than 10 days, but in the meantime my company has announced WFH (Work From Home) until 10th April and the Thai government has announced lockdown until 12th April.

Covid-19 is changing the world as we know it. A week ago, I was still hopeful that I’d get to fly to Hanoi to visit my boyfriend mid-April. And the only obstacle standing in the way was my company’s strong recommendation against international personal travel.

A week later, countless international flights are cancelled, including mine. And we’re in lockdown in Bangkok. I did not see this coming.

The good thing about this extraordinary situation is that it has led me to consider my priorities and my plans for this year. And as a result, I’ve taken the first steps toward relocating to be with my boyfriend in Hanoi in July.

We always said “this year” would be the year we move in together, and “hopefully in the summer”. But I’ve decided to make it happen rather than just hope. It is my life after all. My life, my decision, my doing.

And yes, I’m still meditating.

How is Covid-19 impacting you where you are? I hope you and your loved ones are well.

Love,

Val

6 August 2019

So I stopped for a month. Entirely.

Ooops.

For the month of July, my exercise consisted of walking and chewing. Not bad forms of exercise, but certainly nothing like rhythmic cycling. I could definitely feel the lack of freshness and energy that come with the bike. And also the horizontal expansion of body parts.

Yesterday was my first time back at my gym, doing 45 minutes of cycling with my favourite instructor. (Seriously, he’s awesome). And I was very happy to discover that my muscles, just like the North, remember. I was even able to cycle super fast to double-time beats at some points. That’s about where I was when I left off a month ago.

Though now that I think about it… I’ve done over 30 cycling classes. Is it normal that I’m still not able to follow the beat for the whole class? Hmm…

Rhythmic cycling is a constant battle with yourself. Push yourself a bit harder. Cycle a bit faster. Make your movements a bit bigger. Tap, push. In, out. Right, left. Make a V. All the while getting lost in the music thumping from the loudspeakers. I love it. And during the time I was going 2-3 times a week, I think I was getting pretty toned! Though the enjoyment is so great the getting toned past feels almost like a by-product.

So two months ago, on 3rd June, I wrote about how “things happen over a longer period of time when you’re an adult”. (This did materialise into an unfinished post on my main blog, as promised.)

I also mentioned, in the same post, that I may have good news to share “in a few weeks, maybe a month or two”.

And good news to share, I have:

I’m starting a new job next Tuesday!

Drumrolls. Confettis.

I’m really pretty psyched about this new job. I had written about my application and interview experience in my other blog (I do have a lot of blogs, don’t I) when I verbally received the offer last month. But since no contract had been signed at that point, I didn’t want to mention what company it was.

But now the contract has been signed, my Workday account (a self-service online portal where you do your employee admin stuff – that probably sums it up) set up, photo and bio provided to the CPO to share on their Facebook Workplace (no idea what shape or form this takes, guess I’ll find out next week!). So now I’m very happy to share that:

I’m moving to Agoda!

Drumrolls. Confettis.

To be honest, this move was completely unexpected. It’s really quite remarkable how a casual browse on LinkedIn turned into a proper application. And the series of interviews which I’ve described in detail in my other blog were a whirlwind.

I’ve gotta say this: their application process is watertight. Everything moves like clockwork. There literally is no time for the candidate to question their decision or waver.

Not that I would, question my decision I mean. I was pretty decided early on that I wanted to join the company. For four major reasons:

1. The people – they’re sharp as a knife and talk straight
2. The industry – getting to work in the fast-moving online travel industry is a pretty attractive prospect. Plus, I love hotel booking sites
3. The data-driven nature – this is an aspect I’ve always felt was lacking in my current job. In fact, in all my past jobs. I’ve never been much of a data person. And I think a data person is a good kind of person to be
4. The role – an expansion of scope to cover talent management as a whole, not just learning and development is unequivocally a good thing

I could probably name more. But those four alone are enough to seal the decision.

So I’m now in my last week at work, in fact last three days as I’m flying off to Hanoi to be with my partner on Friday. A four-day weekend. Flying back on Monday night and starting at Agoda at 9am on Tuesday. It’s going to be intense. But I didn’t want to sit around doing nothing for a week and start the following Monday.

I don’t think it’s fully hit me yet. I got an e-mail from Agoda yesterday about my first day. Also yesterday was my handover meeting with my boss at DKSH. But apart from that it’s business as usual. We have a team farewell dinner tonight. Which should be fun – I’m looking forward to it.

So yes, big news. And I am very happy.

Hope you guys have been well in the past month.

And oh, spending three weeks with my partner was absolutely fantastic. It was the longest amount of time we’ve spent together yet, and it bodes well for our future life together once we move to the same city next year.

Love you all and until next time,

Val

13 April 2019

Happy Thai New Year!

I’ve been thinking of updating this blog for a few days now, and finally found some time to sit down in front of my laptop and do it.

In the shower just now, I was thinking of how to position this post. And I came up with this opening sentence: I was always told that change is constant, but only now I am beginning to experience it in my own life.

As is my custom, I went back to read my previous post before beginning to write, and lo and behold! The first sentence in my last post:

Change is kind of nice.

Strange that the theme of last post was also change. I guess it only proves my point: change is constant.

So, why am I saying that I am experiencing change? If you remember, back in December last year many members of my team were laid off due to cost savings. Then I had that tumultuous period at work which I told you about in my two previous posts. And then, just as I thought the dust had settled, a few weeks back – maybe a month by now – my boss told me that she’s leaving the company.

Shock! Horror! My boss is somewhat of an institution at my company. She has been there for 6 years and there was previously no indication of her leaving. But she is. When she told me the news, I was shocked for a few brief instants, but then it sank in. There was also panic as I thought: shit, are they going to hire someone from outside to head the team? I didn’t like the sound of that.

Thankfully, they are moving someone internally to head the team, and guess who that someone is: my previous boss! So, I’m back in my old nest. My two bosses (past, present, and past-cum-future) are very different in management style, but I think I’ll adapt just fine. I’m just relieved they didn’t put in someone completely new. I know I should know better, but uncertainty still scares me.

So that’s the big change. And I have come to accept now that there will undoubtedly soon be further changes at work. Not that I know of anyone planning to leave. It just always is that way. (nods sagely)

There has also been a change on the personal front. Me and my boyfriend (can I call him long-term now that we’ve been together for over 8 months?) – oops – dad has arrived (he’s driving me to the airport). Well then, writing shall resume at the airport!

I’m back! So yes, me and my boyfriend were talking about where we could live from next year. And where previously we were only talking about Hanoi, now we’re also considering Bangkok and Ho Chi Minh city. It’s not my favourite Vietnamese city but I’ve decided to keep an open mind. We’ll scout it out one weekend later this year. So yes, personal life-changing plans also change!

I’m at the airport now about to fly to Hanoi on my third visit to my boyfriend since we started dating. I love Hanoi; for some inexplicable reason it’s one of my favourite cities. So I’m excited to be there for a few days. Tickets were rather expensive as it’s the long holiday (Thai New Year innit) but worth every penny.

I should go and get started on my next book. I’ve been reading regularly. I’m onto my fourth book of the month now, which is pretty good considering we’re only two weeks in: Kazuo Ishiguro’s The Unconsoled. He’s one of my favourite authors and I’m just whizzing through his books. They’ve all been enjoyable so far. I wouldn’t say they were all “fun”, but certainly very immersive, which is what I look for in a book. Fun is overrated anyways.

I hope you’re all well and enjoying the constant change of life.

Until next time.

Love,

Val

18 February 2019

Change is kind of nice.

The reason I’m saying this is I just read my post from 9th January and I’m realising how much things have changed, and how good I feel about that.

I’m not saying all change is good for everyone. Just that I’m rather fond of the the kind of change happening in my life right now.

So I just came back from an eight-day beach vacation with my (now six-month-long) boyfriend (confettis!). We spent twelve days together (counting the time we were in Bangkok), which is the longest we’ve ever been in each other’s presence. And it was fine! More than fine, in fact. It was absolutely wonderful. So we revisited the idea of moving in together (which requires me to quit my job and move to Hanoi).

Over the course of that conversation, we discussed what I’d be doing in Hanoi and what I should do regarding the job situation. The conversation was a short one, but where things stand after are miles apart from where they were before, hence the “good” change I’m talking about.

To give you a bit of background of the events of the past month post-talk with boss (mentioned in my previous post), I did feel better after sharing with her my plan to leave. She made some good suggestions, and the talk gave me perspective on my situation. With that new perspective and a new practice of reviewing my progress and development in our weekly meetings, I have been feeling better at work – re-engaged.

Whereas six weeks ago the thought of staying in this job for another eleven months was difficult to stomach, now it seems fine. More than fine, in fact. I’m enjoying what I’m doing again. It’s still not what I want to be doing for the rest of my life – that much hasn’t changed – but I’m choosing to look at the positives and there are enough to justify staying in it. For now.

So, going into the conversation with my boyfriend ten days ago, my feelings about my job were much more positive than what they were when I burst into hysterics mid-call back in January. And as we discussed my options regarding the move, I asked myself: why do I have to leave at the end of the year? After all, I only plan to move to Hanoi in July next year. Why not stay in the job for another six months and get a solid income, save up some funds for the move?

Initial reasons for leaving the job at the end of the year were two-fold: a) it gives me time to “prepare” for moving to another country and b) my housing contract expires in December. Looking at them again, b) is kind of silly as of course I can extend my contract at the end of the year for another 6-7 months (at least I think I can…).

And as for a), over the course of the conversation we began to look at the move differently. This doesn’t have to be the “be all, end all”. We’re not going to buy a house with a picket fence in Hanoi and settle down. The move may well be temporary. He doesn’t know yet where he wants to be long-term, and neither do I. Hanoi is good as a base for some time, but nothing binds us to it.

So I’m now looking at the move as a transition period. And I don’t think I have to leave my job six months before to prepare for a transition period. I can just leave, then transition, then during that time prepare for what’s coming next. Hanoi can be a place for me to pause and re-evaluate the different pieces of my life, and work out where I want to go next country-wise and professionally.

And now that I’m thinking like that, I’m not so stressed anymore. I don’t need to figure out between now and July 2020 what to do for the rest of my life. In fact, now it seems silly that just a month ago that’s exactly what I expected myself to do. And with the burden of stress now lifted, everything seems lighter. I’m enjoying my job more. I’m less confused, and no longer frustrated. And this is such a big change from just six weeks ago. The state I was back then and now… light years apart.

So yes, I’m happy. This has been a pretty drifty post. I’m in a drifty mood. I just wanted to drop by and check in with you guys. Now it’s time to focus and get back to work.

Lots of love and until next time,

Val